Daisy Miller

I actually liked this book a lot, Daisy reminds me of that girl who is hard to get because she can easily be into you and into the other guy and into the other guy, etc. I've met my share of girls who behave like this in life... it sucks.

I'm going to focus on the nonverbal communication of the book, specially in two scenes which shook me up a lot, the first scene is Winterbourne's first conversation with Lucy. This starts out pretty much like any other 19th century man and woman conversation, we're even led to believe Daisy is as uptight as every girl at that time. The real conversation happened with their bodies, she was acting all shy because he was treating her as he would treat every other girl from that period, at one point she didn't even dare to look him in the eye, which came to me as being chauvinistic. I believe he stopped being so shy because of what he saw in her eyes when she finally glanced upon him, "bright, sweet, superficial..." were the words that came to Winterbourne's mind. He knew from the get-go Daisy was no ordinary girl, he fell for her literally just by looking into her eyes... nonverbal communication at it's fullest. I really would like to believe this love was two-sided but I think of Daisy of that girl that can flirt with you all night but when you're going to kiss her, you realize she was just sport-flirting.

This scene captivated me a lot because at that time in History girls were supposed to be a certain way around gentlemen because reputation was something that mattered to most more than anything else, It is uncertain if Daisy wants to jump up in social classes or keep up flirting with the likes of Giovanelli. Now, Giovanelli is a character I loved, he played this extremely appropriate gentleman who was blown away by Daisy, he was blown away by her because no woman en Europe would behave like she did, which brings me to the other scene in which body language tells a lot about the character.

The scene in which Daisy has Winterbourne on one hand and in the other she has Giovanelli, just by looking at her people froze to talk about the american girl who was a flirt and how she had no class and no decency. If you could picture the three of them there are three points of view, as they walk Winterbourne clearly represents society and how they thought or saw things, he was in the line between embarrassed and upset, Daisy had no clue of what she was doing because she didn't see any wrong in it, she thought no wrong of it, and Giovanelli was fascinated by Daisy so he couldn't figure out what was wrong in the picture. 

I was fascinated with this book because it's the first book i've read in which what's not said plays a lot more of a role that actual conversation. It would make one awesome play.

English Department's Conference

For me this was a very cool experience not only because I found it awesome to see my classmates different point of view on how the whole traveler v. tourist dilemma can be approached. Also a professor pointed out how the Taoism says that an inner journey can be more important than an outer journey. I'm a firm believer in this because I think that if you're not in terms with yourself then you can't enjoy anything the world has to offer. I believe that the mind is the single most powerful and beautiful thing a human being possesses, if your mind is strong you can perform great things, things other people can consider impossible, impossible is nothing... ... if you can truly control your mind. This is why an inner journey is always more important than actually traveling, if you're depressed in Puerto Rico it's going to be the same elsewhere, you just need to become an inside traveler and look for the real problem. I'm actually shocked I didn't use this approach when working on Holy Cow since I've always been the first one to support the inner journey before the outer journey. Some people take trips so they can heal, I find this a little stupid, of course you're going to heal if your context and surroundings are changed, when you return to the real world you hit rock bottom and figure you're really not alright and you were just lying to yourself. When that professor pointed that out I actually got pumped to see someone shares my point of view. 

P.S. The guys were awesome, I just was a little shocked they didn't make it personal and just left it at the Traveler v. Tourist POV or at the cultural context.

May the force be with you all.

First 10 Min. Free Writing Excercise

So today I have my organic chemistry exam, it's the first one and im' so nervous. Chemistry and I don't really get along, my first semester at Chem 3001 I was very happy, It was all so easy. I got A & B's so I felt like king of the world, like college was going to be a cruise :). Then I got to Chem 3002 (ABANDON SHIIIIP!) I'm a real slow learner and my professor went all Speedy Gonzalez on my ass on all the power points, not cool dude. So I got a C on the first exam because The Flash went so damn fast maybe I could have a chance at killing that exam. That's how my hate for chemistry started, now I have Orgo, which is awesome but still makes me very very nervous. I've studied a lot for this so I really think I'm ready. I'm always like this when I have something important coming up I get very very nervous. Today I had my second Chem Lab, not awesome it was a theoretic lab and I think I flunked the pre lab quiz. My mind is do occupied with this I don't even know what to write. I'm thinking about listening to Eye Of The Tiger I really don't know what to do. Whatever that exams holds for me i'm gonna try to pass it, anyways I'm hungry, I always get hungry when I'm nervous I have been known to eat while doing an exam, I think it calms me down. 


TIME!

First 5 Min. Free Writing Exercise (23/1/13)

Free writing, to write continuously for 5 minutes. The idea is not to stop the pen for moving, and i'm actually thinking about food -_- , today I had my first O. Chem. Lab, pretty scary stuff. The T. A. was cool and all, but he kinda looks like a 40 year old virgin. I really hope this 5 minutes thing doesn't become a habit (haha silly me at that point, imagine my face when I found out it got moved to 10 minutes) because I have no clue what to write, i mean, how in the blue hell am I not to think what to write, this feels like a conversation with myself, I feel like I am Sam. Which actually is a good movie and quite touching actually, Dakota Fanning was very young but she's always been a doll. Is she going to read this? How is she going to grade this? We're like 30 and she's not going to read 30 journals, is she? I just looked at what I'm writing and it technically is stream of consciousness because it is what's going through my conscience.

TIME.

The transition of my free writing

At first I didn't know what free writing was, I had heard of it but never had done it per se. I have to admit it was not easy tapping into my stream of consciousness at first, but then I started to let go and it started feeling pretty natural to me. I really liked it and it made me feel free, it was kind of awkward seeing my mind written so neatly in paper. First I wrote what I thought I should write, the I started writing whatever was on my mind, usually it was music, poetry or food since I'm a big fan of all 3. Rarely about bodybuilding, which is my favorite sport. And sometimes about movies, which is my favorite thing to do when I’m not at the gym or eating. If you look at it you will see a lot of non-sense but it's actually what's on my mind, every elaborate thought was once a little bit of non-sense.

My view of a journey changed drastically since I had no remote idea of what was the difference between a traveler and a tourist, I thought they were the same thing. Anyway, I learned that an inner journey is more important than an external journey, because the cities can change day & night, but you're always with yourself and if you don't feel good with yourself you won't be good with the outside. Nothing will feel as good if you're not cool with yourself. 

March 18 Journal Entry (bad, bad, bad mood day)

So today I really don't feel like writing, im sore all over, that's what it takes to be a bodybuilder, so no pain no gain. Today at work some dude asked me to spot him while he deadlifted... who in the bluest of blue hells does that? I mean, if yo can deadlift 300 pounds then do it, if you cant then don't. So here I am Squatting like a bitch trying to get this guy to deadlift about 350 pounds, which he couldn't do, so I recimmended him to low the weight down a bit so he could do it more effectively, he didn't... So I'm here squatting like a bitch doing most of the force myself since mama's boy couldn't lift a peanut even if he wanted to and this guy starts preaching to me about a diet he's doing, he eats carbs right before and right after the gym whcih is pretty awesome, the thing is he is on his cutting phase supposedly and he told me he took EFA's three times a day which is pretty stupid if you're not bulking, so he comes and talks to me about how he distributes his proteins, which he doesn't do very effectively, fuck it, this guy is not going to hit the stage big time even if God himself spotted him.

So I keep doing my routinely lap around the gym to see if any hot head is throwing the weights to hard or whatever and this Nacho Libre kinda looking guy is throwing the weights down on the floor real hard like he's a mean body builder, uh - uh! Not in my house! you don't throw the weights here beeyotch! So I come up to him and ask him nicely if he could put the 40 lbs dumbbells on the floor a little more nicely, I mean that's baby weight, my infant godson can lift 40 lbs. for chest, it's stupid. So he tells me to fuck off, seems he didn't see the big TRAINER on my shirt so I told him his membership was going to be canceled if he continued behaving like that, the dude didn't give a fuck, thought he was tough so I cancelled his membership like a boss, that's how you do it brah!

Traveler POV Assignment

Reality, it's so close to us it can blind us. When we see the same thing over and over we grow a feeling that it's "normal"and that one object is supposed to be there. I saw a lost San Juan with lots of useful spaces abandoned, prosperity right next to poverty. Ciudadela is an expensive condominium in Santurce and it's right next to some very very poor places, it actually creates a bubble for people to live in. 

This is what the "every day" does to us, it numbs us to the point we believe that what's there is normal. For me it's kind of hard to see this space because of the fact that i've lived here all my life and it's all pretty normal to me. But the feeling of being an outsider in one's own home and discover things. The key in not to lose the "tourist" set of mind and remember that nothing is supposed to be.